I Did the Unthinkable

The habit I walked away from—and what it taught me about freedom

Happy New Year friends!

I’m going to own it.

I am the quintessential Good Christian Girl.

I have always cared very deeply about following the rules, handing my homework in early, and lining my pencils up in colour order. I’m the girl who finishes what she starts and who gets tetchy when I see others sit down to eat their toast before tidying away the butter and jam from the kitchen counter.

Yeah, bet you’re glad we’re not flatmates!

So, you can probably imagine how much I have thoroughly enjoyed ticking off my daily Duolingo language challenge over the past year or so and delighting in the fact that the wee owl gives me kind eyes rather than those angry-fire-eyes when you cut it a bit too close to midnight for getting it done.

I have had to check my smugness about the length of my ‘streak’ and intentionally not bring up how many days I’m on when others bring up that they too are Duolingo addicts fans.

And yet, just before Christmas, I deleted the app.

I turned off all the emails.
Silenced notifications.
And let my 445-day-streak die a death.

I quit. Just like that.

Teenage me (heck, me from a month ago) would be wailing: Whhhyyyyyyy? When you’re only five days away from that magic 450 marker? When it literally only takes you a couple of minutes a day? Why would you do such a ridiculous thing? You’ve come so far. It’ll be wasted . . .

Here’s why: It had power over me.

What began as a blissful daily delight had quietly become a dutiful burden. It had become heavy. Stressful. Something to keep up with. Something that dictated how I ended my day rather than enriched it.

And so . . . as we all hit that time of year when everyone is adding things to their calendars and habit-formation planners, setting their intentions for the months ahead, I wonder:

Is there something you need to let go of?

Something that, harmless as it may be, has become heavy?

In Hebrews 12:1 we are urged that we are to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (NIV). Now, I’m not saying that Duolingo is sin. Not for a second. But it was hindering me.

The phrase throw off in the original Greek is wonderfully physical. It’s used repeatedly in the New Testament to describe taking off clothing—laying aside, stripping off, discarding a garment that no longer belongs. Often, it’s a soiled or restrictive garment, removed so that something new can be put on in its place.

This isn’t gentle detachment.
It’s a decisive release.

The picture is of someone recognising that they cannot run freely while still dressed for the wrong terrain and then choosing, with intention, on purpose, to let it go.

BibleHub describes this word as presenting “a compelling portrait of decisive, Spirit-enabled renunciation that inaugurates and sustains a holy walk — an indispensable element of New Testament discipleship.”¹

• Spirit-enabled.

• Not self-punishing.

• Not performance-driven.

And isn’t that what we long for as a new year begins?

Lives that are sustained by the Spirit, not strangled by obligation. Lives able to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (v.1) because we are no longer carrying what was never meant to be permanent.

The writer of Hebrews goes on to say we do this by “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith” (v.2a, NIV). Not by tightening our grip, but by loosening it. Not by adding more, but by paying attention to what needs laying down.

For me, that has meant saying goodbye to ending my day with Duo’s watchful stare. For you, it might look different.

It might be:

• a rhythm that once served you but now quietly drains you

• a habit you’re afraid to stop because of what it says about your consistency

• a spiritual practice that’s become performative rather than prayerful

• a commitment you’ve outgrown but don’t know how to release

• or even a “good” discipline that’s started to crowd out attentiveness to Jesus Himself

Letting go isn’t failure.
Sometimes it’s faith.

And if you find yourself longing not for better habits this January, but for a gentler, truer place to begin again then I want you to know this:

There is no pressure here.
No performance requirement.
No streaks to maintain.

If you’d like to join us for 31 Days of Beginning Again, it’s not too late. Each day in January is simply an invitation to release what’s become heavy, to refocus your gaze, and to start again with Jesus at the centre. Details of how to join at the end.

No guilt if you miss a day. No shame if you start halfway through.
Just grace, presence, and the quiet courage to lay something down.

Because sometimes the most faithful thing you can do at the start of a new year is not to add one more thing—but to finally let one go.

Jesus, as we stand at the beginning of this year, we bring You the things we’ve been carrying—even the good ones that have quietly grown heavy. Give us courage to lay down what no longer serves the life You’re inviting us into. Teach us the freedom of release, the grace of beginning again, and the peace that comes from fixing our eyes on You rather than on our performance. Where we’ve confused faithfulness with finishing, gently remind us that You are more interested in our attentiveness than our streaks. Lead us by Your Spirit into a year marked not by striving, but by trust. For Your glory, amen.

As you step into this new year, is there something—a habit, expectation, or commitment—that might be good, but has become heavy? What would it look like for you to lay it down and begin again?

If this resonated: come join us for 31 Days of Beginning Again this January.

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1. https://biblehub.com/greek/659.htm